Transformation Vision

Hey guys,

Sorry I'm a little late in updating this.

Just wanted to post some reflections on the T-Vision.

1. I think I was reminded just how great the vision is. It's not just about a building, or getting A/C, or even HMCC, but really about transforming lives for the glory of God. Whatever that entails, and whatever it takes, it's all about transformation.

2. I was also reminded of what a great privilege it is to participate in this vision. I know that it was only by God's grace that He called me to Michigan, to be a part of this church, and to even participate in this vision in this way.

3. I learned that sacrifice takes faith. I was reminded of the story of Abraham and Isaac and how it really took a lot of faith for him to sacrifice his son that God would still provide according to His character. Even as I am pledging to give up some of my money, I need to trust that that God will provide for all my needs.

empty jars

2 kings 4:1-7

the desperate situation: widow is about to lose her two boys
all she has: a little oil
what to do: collect a lot, not just a few, empty jars
the miracle: filled ALL the empty jars with oil

what strikes me about this passage is that God used the little that she already had and provided MORE. he will take the little that i have to offer and multiply it. it's easy for me to recognize my inadequacies, but it's not easy to stop there... offer God my empty jar... and let Him fill it. often i recognize my inadequacy and search frantically and work relentlessly to try to fill it on my own. i have to give Him the room, the space in my life, to prove His power. i have to collect those empty jars and expect God to fill them. though hard work is not a bad thing, especially in the world's eyes, being obsessed with working hard at something is a sin. bc hard work on my own strength does not give God ANY GLORY. there are no empty jars for Him to fill! there's no miracle to be done. gotta make room for miraculous provisions in my life.

Just to get you guys to think...

What do these countries have in common?

Afghanistan

Algeria

Azerbaijan

Bahrain

Bangladesh

Bhutan

Cambodia

China

Comoros

Djibouti

Egypt

Gambia

Guinea

Guinea-Bissau

Hong Kong

India

Iran

Iraq

Israel

Japan
Jordan

North Korea

Laos

Libya

Maldives

Mali

Mauritania

Mongolia

Morocco

Myanmar

Nepal

Niger

Oman

Pakistan

Qatar

Saudi Arabia

Senegal

Somalia

Sri Lanka

Syria

Tajikistan

Thailand

Tunisia

Turkey

Turkmenistan

United Arab Emirates

Uzbekistan

Vietnam

Western Sahara

Yemen

A lot of countries right? It's 51 countries...

All of these countries is at most 10% "Christian"... and many of them are under 1%

33.2% of the world is deemed as "Christian"

I know Lent has already started, but for the remaining days of lent, I am going to pray for at least 2 of these countries per day. Hope everyone looks at this list and feels a burden to pray for one of these countries!

Hehe

I like this song a lot... don't be stumbled by the pictures of the guy

Walk On Water-Tim

Complaints

This past week, I've realized that I spend a lot of my time complaining. I grumble on about things from schoolwork to clothes to food to a bug in the room. When moaning on about this, I'm sure I sound like brat who takes everything for granted and thinks the world is out to get me. I'm pretty sure many people are guilty of this, unfortunately. Very little of my time is spent on reflecting on the things that I do have: love from my family, my friends, you, and, of course, God. Why is that?

I am so blessed with all the love I have from people and the opportunities and gifts that are afforded to me, but I fail to recognize that these are all from Him. There needs to be self-reflection for understanding of this to occur-- something to work on.

God is just and merciful and giving, and we should praise the Lord like he deserves for giving us so much. (Another thing to work on.) I don't spend nearly as much time spent on thinking about Him and His plans for me as He does about me, and I'm determined to change this. Please help in reminding me! I'd like to be reminded of the masterpiece God has created, and I want to "Praise the Lord, all the works in his dominion." (Psalm 103:22)

Christina

Is it worth it?

I like sleep. I like doing well in school. I like being alone. I like bumming around. 
These things give me tremendous sense of comfort. I don't want to lose it. 
But ever since this winter semester started, God has been challenging me with a heart of servanthood and sacrifice. I knew exactly what I had to do in order to grow in those two areas--sacrifice all of those above. But I kept putting God on wait by telling him, "Wait a minute, dad. Hold on for a bit. Give me more time. Let me indulge in this for a little more."


God waited for me patiently. But it was this past week that God had told me, "Alright, it's time," through the Bible verse:


"Nobody should seek his own good but the good of others." -1 Corinthians 10:24


That's when I realized that I had been so selfish. If losing hours of sleep could be used to pray for a sister who is in need of prayer, that's what God would want. If losing hours of study to listen to a sister's prayer request, that's what God would want. If I can sacrifice my solitude and bumming, and use that time to play sports (which I do not like very much) for the sole purpose serving others and building up the community, I would do that because that's what Jesus would have done.


Because I love solitude so much that I keep asking myself if it's worth it to meet up with people and spend hours and hours outside of my house. But because God calls me to do it and I just obey despite the fact I will ask the question to myself again.


"Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain." -1 Corinthians 15:58


I am undergoing transformation by God--I know sacrificing my comfort to serve others is nerve wrecking but I know it's all worth it in the end. For it is said, that your labor in the Lord is NOT in vain.

Talk about life......

My life: As I spaced out, I realized that I have such an amazing life. My life reminds me of the love that is greater than me. My life is like a dream or a daydream but yet so amazing.  Considering all the struggles, setbacks, failures, problems, obstacles; it is amazing that I am still here today. I am certain that ALL God’s children (Yes, every single one of you) have an amazing life filled with blessings and miracles.

Here are my random thoughts:

Why stress about life? life could be much worse

Thank God that I am still breathing and I am still here to watch the next sunrise (if I wake up early enough)

If I die today, it does not bother me because I already accomplished the most important thing in life, which is to dedicate my life to follow Christ.

My prayer life: God is faithful; He always ANSWERED ALL my prayers. Sometimes is “no” (actually many times is a “no”), sometimes is “yes”(definitely lots of this), and sometimes is “wait” (this happens :) ). I really don’t know what the future holds or what tomorrow may bring, but I believe God has great things in store for all of us. Matthew 6:34 "So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

In life, sometimes you lose, sometimes you win, but in Christ you always win. 

-Cleve

Grasshoppers

Numbers 13:25-14:25

[the seemingly impossible]

For them: the Israelites explored Canaan, the Promised Land, and noticed the fruit, milk, and honey that God promised… and YET they were still filled with 1) fear: of the strong, powerful inhabitants who seemed impossible to defeat, 2) doubt: of their own strength and abilities to conquer them “we seemed like grasshoppers in our own eyes, and we looked the same to them (v33).”

For me: i’m teaching a class without training/certification in a subject I have never mastered or cultivated a passion for. often times finding myself racking my brain to understand the material, rushing to finish my lesson plans , replaying all the  “oops” moments in the classroom and wishing to rewind, wallowing in disappointment over my mistakes, drained by students who complain and throw disrespectful glares, etcetc. This, on top of other responsibilities to fulfill and roles to play… brews up a mix of frustration and disappointment bc  it literally seems impossible for someone like me, given my weaknesses and insufficiencies, to do it all well+effectively.  And I wonder why God brought me here and put me in these roles if He and I both know that I can’t do it all.  With past failures coming back to haunt (and taunt) me, fear of failure and doubt of my abilities are stronger than ever.

[complaints, regrets, misunderstandings]

For them: Israelites grumbled and complained about their disappointing and unpromising circumstances – “we were led out of Egypt, for what? For this? We’re in the desert and we’re not even close to this “milk and honey” and now it’s clear that it’s impossible to get there. This sucks! It sucks so much that we’d rather by in slavery in Egypt again and do our own thing than be teased around by God..” (anna choi translation). The complaint: life sucks like this. The regret: shouldn’t have followed God out here, should’ve kept my old life. The misunderstanding: God is not good and does not have the best intentions for us (“why is the Lord brining us to this land only to let us fall by the sword?”)

For me:  I’ve felt just like this. A college student who made a few simple, bold choices to abandon my own dreams to follow God… fast-forward to now… a single working adult who’s been thinking about those choices that seem so foolish now when compared to the rest of the world, the rest of her colleagues, and friends who are on the fast-track to success, security, and glory.

[the affirmation]

For them: out of the ugly mess of ugly attitudes brewing amongst the israelites… Joshua reinforced three truths: 1) God is good. His plans for us are good. His HEART for us is good. He is not the mean-spirited, stingy master that wants to ruin their lives. 2) God is a promise-keeper. He promised to give the land to them and He will do it! Whatever it takes, He will get them there.  3) God is powerful. Do not be afraid because He will conquer their enemies, no matter how strong, God is stronger than they!

For me: remember who God is and His heart for me is so crucial. I want to have such a faith like Joshua… so steadfast, so unshakable, immovable…  if God called me to play these different roles – teacher, lifegroup leader, etc – then of course HE will provide everything I need to fulfill His call. Know Him and know His heart.

[the undeserved forgiveness]

For them: God is so displeased by the Israelites’ “contempt” and “refus[al] to believe.” These are not tangible actions like MURDER or ADULTERY… but these are SINS OF THE HEART that mean a LOT to God. to the point where He has to punish it severely. God forgives them but the Israelites suffer the consequences of their sin by losing their chance to enter into the Promised Land. Scary to think that one moment of “lacking faith” is such a detestable sin before God that could completely cut off His blessings and even alter the course of your future forever.

For me: I need to check my heart more often and repent for my ugly attitude: lacking faith that God’s power can enable me and lacking trust that God has good plans for my future, even though they are completely unknown to me.

[for His Glory]

He forgives. He loves. He redeems my mistakes and failures. Why? Because of His glory. So His glory can be displayed in my life.  This seriously needs to be my mantra for the next few days: not to us, but to Him be all the glory.

-anna

Detroit ASB

This break was amazing! from Monday night to Thursday night, I was able to have a Frontline alternative spring break trip to Detroit. Although there was a lot of last minute planning, it ended up being a huge success!

Y'all should plan one with your class for next year =)

The overall planning was very last minute. We didn't finalize our car rental until the monday of the trip. We didn't get our activity finalized until a week before the trip. There were a lot of last minute changes too. It was really hard for me, since I enjoy having all of the details smoothed out. But I think from past experience, God has taught me to just trust in Him.

Yes, as one of the organizers, I did get worried, but I think I was a lot less so than what I expected. I somehow had a peace of mind that as long as we are doing God's work and doing it in prayer, we can just have faith that it will work, which it did. God showed me that I have grown a lot but I still need to continue to trust in Him.

Brief Overview of the trip:

Volunteering: at Southwestern Detroit (1.4 miles away from Anna's school)

Task: Take photos of the broken down, burned down, vacant houses in the area so that UNI, our community partner, can make sure the city government is doing its job.

Why: To make the neighborhood a better place to live in. With all of the vacant homes, the neighborhood is a lot less appealing. Trash gets thrown there, shady people gather there, and its simply an eyesore.

Summary: The 12 of us had an amazing time there. We were able to see a lot of the brokenness in the neighborhood, yet realize that the people aren't any different from us, just in a worse off neighborhood. We were also able to explore downtown Detroit and see the brighter parts of it. Detroit has a lot of hope so we just need to keep on praying.

We also had a good community building time. We spent time sharing our life testimony. Almost all of us shared (except for two). It was really good since we got to understand each other better. We also had prayer and worship each morning and a lot of nightly worship jam sessions.

If you want to see pictures, michelle kim took a lot of pictures =)

Remedy, All-in, and Catalyst should definitely consider doing this in the future. I heard that All-in and Catalyst had a Troy trip. Why not extend it to Detroit? Its only 30 minutes farther!

-Jesse

Just some thoughts as I was walking...

I pulled an all-nighter today and as I was walking back to my dorm in the morning, I started having many thoughts and questions. It's strange, I feel like these questions always come back to me... and every single time I had a similar answer for it. I was just thinking about why certain people have certain conditions and diseases that they have to go through. My parents always told me to be thankful for being born healthy and not going through any broken bones and things like that (my messed up pinkie, the hurting lower back, and sprain ankles are the most I've been through in my life...). There are so many people in my life that I know that have diabetes, eating problems, organ problems, etc. Many of these people of course are friends of mine and I honestly always feel like Will Smith in the movie Seven Pounds. If you haven't watched the movie, it's pretty much about a man who got into a car accident that killed 7 people, including his wife. Basically, he just decides to give up his body parts to 7 deserving people that have these types of diseases to help them survive... and that's exactly how I feel like a lot of the times. I really see my life and realize that I've been gifted with great health and no really big problems. But when I see my friends with these types of diseases and problems, I really want to help them, to the point where I am willing to even go through transplants because I know that with a healthy body, I would be able to help so many people.

But there comes another thought... there is a purpose in everything because God made it that way. So all my friends that have these health issues, I see them and think about what they go through daily... and I realized that wow, they're so happy and that this problem doesn't even seem to affect them all. I know there are pains and many tough times that I don't see, but seeing that these people give praise to God no matter what is what is so encouraging to me. For me, living with great health throughout my life, I praise God for Him being good to me. And these people who lack this really good health... they praise God even when there is pain. I'm always so encouraged to see God work in these friends and it's a constant reminder to me that God is so good and works in all kinds of people.

So as I walked back to my dorm, I was burdened to pray. Pray for my friends, and even pray for those who wake up every morning with the burden of some kind of disease or pain. For my friends, I prayed that God would continue to bless them in all that they do, and they'll continue to praise Him no matter what. For those people I didn't know, for the lost, I prayed that whatever they had that was burdening them, it would not be a "why God" but a "thank you Lord for giving me breath to breathe." As I continued praying, I also kept having images of seeing myself going into the community and being a constant encouragement to those who were going through such things and it reminded me of past mission trips and community service opportunities I went to. Even for the poor, I feel like God was telling me as I prayed that He had given me a gift to be somewhat fun and entertaining, and that with this talent, I would be able to really spread His love to those who are discouraged, down, or depressed.

This simple time of prayer... I think really may have helped me realize what I kind of want to do over the summer... at least one of the things I want to do

Yeah so praise God for His blessings upon me today :D

²⁸ “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰ For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Matthew 11:28-30

final word

Oh, jeez. I've never been a blogger, but hopefully this will go okay :) First, here's Proverbs 16:1-9.

¹ To humans belong the plans of the heart,
but from the LORD comes the proper answer of the tongue.

² All a person’s ways seem pure to them,
but motives are weighed by the LORD.

³ Commit to the LORD whatever you do,
and he will establish your plans.

⁴ The LORD works out everything to its proper end—
even the wicked for a day of disaster.

⁵ The LORD detests all the proud of heart.
Be sure of this: They will not go unpunished.

⁶ Through love and faithfulness sin is atoned for;
through the fear of the LORD evil is avoided.

⁷ When the LORD takes pleasure in anyone’s way,
he causes their enemies to make peace with them.

⁸ Better a little with righteousness
than much gain with injustice.

⁹ In their hearts humans plan their course,
but the LORD establishes their steps.

During this past week, I've had time to reflect on where my life has been heading, where I've come from, and what I've been through [I know, very... deep? haha]. Through this, I've particularly felt that the first, third, and ninth verses acted in my life. Looking back, I don't think my plans had ever been completely followed through to the tee like I originally planned for them to-- some because of my own shortcomings, but some because God had slightly different plans for me. In the end, they always worked out though, which just gives me greater affirmation that He always knows best. As I go through the next two months trying to find an internship for this summer, I can only wait for God to act again to help me get on track to His plans.

God helps so much in ways that I don't even know He does, and to be honest, sometimes I feel weak and powerless thinking about it. But then, I realize that I'm thinking about this the wrong way. This isn't the way God acts. I may plan the initial steps, but He always helps me to fulfill my goals, and if he alters my plan, it's always for the better, because He knows best.

For this to happen, though, I simply need to trust in God and keep my heart and mind pure. Help me stay this way, guys, will ya?

Xtina :)

nothing more, nothing less

This week has been quiet, restful. God knows me so well; He knew i needed it after a few exhausting stretches of work over the past few weeks. why was i so exhausted? i felt frustrated because i felt like i was trying to be faithful in all the roles that God had given me, but i'd often feel disappointed and defeated at the end of the day because i didn't do enough and wasn't good enough at what i was doing. i always felt like i had to strive to perform, jump through hoops, go leaps and bounds, and exhaust myself to please God by the end of the day. but maybe all the while, God has been pushing aside all of my efforts to succeed and perform and simply asking me to OBEY. each day, i want to learn to listen for God's voice and what He calls me to do that very day - even if that doesn't include my extravagant efforts and showy sacrifices/external actions to please God. if God asks me to love my students through a simple conversation rather than expend my energy, lose sleep, and get stressed over trying to fine-tune a perfect lesson plan... let it be!

Saul's sin was in his pride and his pursuit after his own agenda to please God. He had his own idea of what it meant to please God rather than simply listening and obeying to God's expectations for him. God never asked for the showy sacrifices of the best livestock and the live capture of the Amalekite king. but Saul selfishly reveled in his own glory, and the captured livestock and king were his trophies. God doesn't want my trophies.

i'm a planner and i like to do things my own way. i need to repent for stubbornly trying to live up to my own expectations for myself achieved by my own efforts and actions... and instead  i need to be surrendered to His plans for me and to know that being faithful to His calling is enough. my life is not my own, but His to use.

what is God asking of me today? do that. nothing more, nothing less... "to obey is better than sacrifice."

God is God

As you guys may know already, I LOVE war movies, documentaries and clips. Now, disclaimer is that just because I love war movies, doesn't mean I support war or want war. If anything, I strongly believe war should be avoided at ALL cost. I tend to romanticize about war, but I know the reality of war is not glorious at all.

I've already seen Saving Private Ryan and Band of Brothers thousand times (both produced and directed by Steven Spielberg and Tom Hanks), but I'm never sick of it. Based on a compelling true story, I own and have read the book Band of Brothers and even got an autograph from one of the veterans (I'm a fanatic).

During this break, I discovered that there was another World War II TV Series called The Pacific that came out just last year (of course by Steven Spielberg and Tom Hanks). Disapproving my own obliviousness, I went on The Pacific marathon.
Band of Brothers is about Easy Company of paratroopers in the 101st Airborne fighting against the Germans, and The Pacific is about the 1st Marine Division fighting against the Japanese in the Pacific islands.
Although I cannot choose which one I liked better, I can say that The Pacific conveyed the horror and sufferings of the war so well. Band of Brothers was good, but it seemed to emphasize the comradeship rather than the suffering and death (The Pacific was so much more graphic, I was shocked at the barbarism and mercilessness of mankind).

The Pacific brought me to tears! Seeing so many lives being lost, I began to wonder-- out of those people that had died, how many people were actually saved? Why did that guy survive through the war, when that other guy got killed on the first day of the battle? What if your war buddy had taken the shot for you? When they had suffered so much, it was disturbing to think that they were potentially facing the eternal suffering after death. I was reminded again that there were too many unnecessary sufferings in this world. Empathizing with the lives that had been lost, I found myself saying, "but God...are they really in hell?" Why did this guy die, and that guy survive instead? Even though God is not causing these violences, I kept dwelling on the question.

Then I came across a song by Steven Curtis Chapman called "God is God." And the lyrics really spoke to me:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8u1in165g4

God is God and I am not
I can only see a part
Of the picture He is painting
God is God and I am man
So I'll never understand it all
For only God is God

Even though I do not understand everything that's happening in the world, I cannot question God about human causes. I am his creation. Just like my heart breaks for the people that have died, God's heart breaks million times more, as he sees his creation killing each other. In the book of Romans, God says, "All day long I have held out my hands to a disobedient and obstinate people." (10:21) If anything, I should be even thanking God all the more for choosing me to be his own. He was pleased to make me his own. He was pleased to make you his own. But that doesn't mean that we should be satisfied in that assurance of salvation, but be more challenged to reach the lost. My prayer is that God would give me the boldness--to reach people, and an undying faith during the spiritual warfare we are constantly in; the kind of faith I could confidently say that I could die for.

-Angela :'-)

Psalm 25

Do not remember the sins of my youth
and my rebellious ways;
according to your love remember me,
for you, LORD, are good.

That's essentially the prayer of my life. Reflecting on these past couple days i catch myself saying this prayer over and over again without much in between. Sometimes I think I blend what the world says and what God teaches too often. So this was essentially the way I use to think when I was younger: I'd go through everything that I lack or am bad at and just do everything to fix it until they're all checked off. Obviously my goals and aspirations when I was in fourth grade was a bit different and my memory is probably a bit hazy but it was something like, "make a decent amount of close friends and have everyone in my grade know me. Be one of the better kids in basketball. Have at least 2 friends that are girls. Get all a's. Get a gamecube. Make a lot of money" And i just remember going through that list so often and honestly i think i got through it all until a new list pops up. I think to myself that i've matured and gotten past that sort of a mentality but i really haven't. I still catch myself thinking about what i dont have, how other people are better than me in what areas and i think that's been a fairly large distraction. I have difficulty just not doing anything or else i let my mind wander and think about all the reasons i shouldn't be happy. Isn't that so weird? When i leave my mind to think about anything, it always just focuses on all the moments in my life that make me sad or tells me all the reasons why i should be lonely. And then because i grew up a christian and there's so much christian...stuff, i'm reminded how wrong i am and then i say that prayer. God, do not remember the sins of my youth, and my rebellious ways. According to your love, remember me, for you LORD, are good. I tell myself to stop being such a baby and do the right thing. And then the day goes by and i realize 'crap time for psalm 25 again'. It's so frustrating knowing that you're gonna screw up and it's completely inevitable. My parents use to get pretty fed up with me and they don't even know the half of how much i waste my life. But then there's God. He has to watch it all. He's watching me right now as i write this in half self-pity. He doesn't get a break. He doesn't get a chance to just close the door and watch TV and ignore me. He cares too much. And then there's me. Isn't that also weird? The two people that constantly have to deal with me is God and me. I remember in this movie Before Sunrise, Ethan Hawke was just talking about how he is so tired of himself because he's always there for everything he does and that's unbelievably true as obvious as it sounds. I have had to listen to every story I've told, I've had to witness every time i mess up, every time i embaress myself, every single time. Man, intimacy is unbelievably terrifying. I am scared to death of it. Even thinking about just trying to say what i wrote here out loud makes me cringe. It's pretty scary and mind boggling that God is seeing everything. I probably only understand the smallest percentage of the magnitude of that absolutely fact. I know that's true because if i really did comprehend that God sees everything i definitely wouldn't have wasted half my day just watching basketball and napping. I don't really know what i'm saying and i'm sorry this isn't nearly as structured or biblically centered as some of your posts haha. I guess the point of this blog is that there really is a daily grind. It's these kind of days when i don't have enough to distract my mind from wandering where i'm really prone to sin. I'm ashamed that when i am given more time to do anything, i just naturally choose other things aside from God. But today's almost done and im gonna have to wake up, get out of bed and do it all over again.

Remembrance of God's Faithfulness

What's up guys? I don't really have much to update you on. Just be resting and relaxing at home, and eating some good food. It definitely has been a refreshing time here at home so praise God for that.

Today's TVision passage was about remembering God's faithfulness. What's cool is that when I went to morning prayer today at my home church, my dad spoke to the congregation on a passage with a similar theme out of Deuteronomy 1. In the Genesis passage, God reminded Jacob of how He was faithful to his forefathers and how He will also be faithful to Jacob since he is their descendant. He repeats the same promises He told to Abraham and Isaac, how He would give them the land and bless all peoples on earth through him and his offspring. After being reassured that God is with him, he sets up an altar to God to worship Him and then proceeds on with his journey as God called him.

Now fast-forward x amount of years to Deuteronomy 1. God had been faithful to the Israelites all those years, but they still did not trust in His faithfulness. They saw the promise land which was everything that God said it would be, but they also saw the people in that land which were taller and stronger than they were, and they were afraid. They refused to enter the land God called them to because they forgot how faithful God is. God rebuked them and punished them, reminding them that He fought for them and led them out of Egypt by cloud and by fire. He would not be with them in battle and would not let them into the promise land.

For me, I forget about God's faithfulness in my life many times and let my circumstances overwhelm me and worry me. I don't want to be like the Israelites who disobeyed because they forgot about God's faithfulness. I want to be like Jacob and follow God no matter what the circumstances are like out of trust in God's faithfulness and His promises. I definitely need God's grace as I am a forgetful person and am prone to be self-focused just like the Israelites.

And now, another song...

Reflection

Thanks to my lcg angela, i forgot that today was my date to write the blog post! Sorry everyone for such a late post. I came back today around four from Florida.
This weekend was very interesting for me...I experienced the world that I never seen....I guess the world of 1% of upperclass of America, the society that controls this country.
Thanks to my scholarship donor, I was invited to visit Miami for scholarship convention, it was an event to connect all the Stamps scholars around the country. About 50 students from almost 10 different schools met in Miami, to build up the network and the community.
And. it was very interesting. Of course, because it is not religious afficilated, the convention was secular, centered around the success of the individual rather than the glory of the higher being.
Being in the "Christian bubble" where we have church meeting at least four times per week, I felt little weird entering to this convention. Absence of God. It was the experience that probably people had when they first experienced the Reneassance and exposed to explore themselves away from the idea of God.
Of course, God was here entirely with me through out the convention. Despite of "non God-centered" convention, he spoke to me or raised awareness on what's going on.
This convention was sort of a culture shock to me. Yes, being in church so many time, spend, eat, talk in church community environment, I forgot this world is so distant from us and their values were so different from us.
The world was truly all about the glory. the fame. the money. the connection. I mean the whole point of this convention was to "build up the connection". Mr. Stamps, the general donor of our scholarship flat out said, "I invited you guys to this convention so you guys can meet other scholarship recipients all around the country. In the society we live in, the key to sucess is connection. There's no surprise why last five presidents all came from same university."
The world strives to find the formula for sucess, for the riches they may gain. Especially when we visited the mansion where our donor couple lives in, it was the world whispering to me soothingly... "this is the ultimate definition of sucess, the money to reach all this, the power to gain all this, the life style that all admires." That moment I felt like Satan was speaking to me... "Can you truly give up everything to become missionary? You are loosing all of these, you are rejecting the chance to enter to this world.. the world everyone admires...." People around me was chanting as the snake spoke to me how they want to live this life style, how their life would be fullfilled if this is their life....and yes I also was gazed and admired. But Thanks to the spirit of discernment and wisdom, I was able to see what's beyond what I can see with my eyes.
This is the worldly standard. The world's desire, the world without Christ. The empty glory... and I cried out to God at that moment. "Father God, hold on to me, let my eyes be on you only, not on anything around me. Father, there's a reason, that I am listening to this all the speech about how to be successful with life, seeing th world of upper 1% of this country for the reason. Father God, give me the heart of the purity, wisdom to know all I need is you. All i need to seek is you and your approval." What the world gives is empty without you. Let me seek you and seek your nation and glory, not what the world can offer. Father God, let me have a strong heart to decline what the world seduces me of but focus on your vocation in my life..."
This was so overwhelming for me. I was excited to meet people, see the world I never seen, but at the same time afraid. Afraid that this will become a struggle. Seeing all this, experiencing all this, I wasnt sure, if my heart can be as pure. But at the same time, after praying and have that peace that I will choose to follow Christ no matter what, even that means i can not gain what the world offers me, I was able to check that there's Holy Spirit living in me.

Job 23:10 But he knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold.

This verse led me into prayer...

I am excited to see what God has provided for my life. How he will use me as a brush to paint the beautiful artwork to show his glory to the world.

I thank God for everything.

-Sunghyun Hong

aloha ohana!

sorry that this entry is so late! my hotel doesn't have internet that is fast enough to enable me to post so i have finally been able to secure internet from a random place! 

since i'm a couple days late, i guess i'll share about one of my favorite times i've spent with God so far this break. yesterday, our group drove along the coast of oahu island. the beauty of it all just took my breath away. as we were laying on the beach, in a weird way, i felt like God was showing me his heart for me through the scenes around me. with the ocean waves crashing against the rocks.. the white foam fizzling along the surface.. seeing sea urchins in their holes.. exotic fish swimming around in the water..

saying, "look jenn, i have created this beautiful world for you to enjoy because i love you more than you can ever imagine." i was truly floored as i stared at the water around me and honestly, i just felt so at peace. not because i'm spending all this time in this beautiful place but really more so because i feel like God is reminding me once again that His love for me is indescribable and beyond comprehension and that He alone is worthy to be praised. 

on the beach i was able to read through the Word and i came across Psalm 24. 

¹ The earth is the LORD’s, and everything in it,
   the world, and all who live in it; 
² for he founded it on the seas
   and established it on the waters.
 ³ Who may ascend the mountain of the LORD?
   Who may stand in his holy place?
⁴ The one who has clean hands and a pure heart,
   who does not trust in an idol
   or swear by a false god.^[a]
 5 They will receive blessing from the LORD
   and vindication from God their Savior. 
⁶ Such is the generation of those who seek him,
   who seek your face, God of Jacob.^[b][c]
 7 Lift up your heads, you gates;
   be lifted up, you ancient doors,
   that the King of glory may come in.
⁸ Who is this King of glory? 
   The LORD strong and mighty,
   the LORD mighty in battle.
⁹ Lift up your heads, you gates;
   lift them up, you ancient doors,
   that the King of glory may come in.
¹⁰ Who is he, this King of glory? 
   The LORD Almighty—
   he is the King of glory.

the verses that i bolded are the ones that really struck and suck out to me. seriously, this world, this earth that God has created is all His. nothing in it can be claimed as our own.. our clothes, our family, nothing. the harder i try to hold onto things in my life, the harder and harsher God says, "no jenn.. my heart for you is to love me and surrender everything to me. trust me." how true it is that our God is worthy to be praised. He's created the heavens and the earth, the beautiful ocean and the lush earth, and in all of our lives, we've received blessings from the Lord and vindication from our Lord. 

Who is he, this King of glory?

The LORD Almighty - he is the King of glory!!

Demons

Hey guys!

Spring break has been awesome! I have had so much time to relax, spend time by myself, and eat. Recently, God has been moving a lot in my heart and revealing certain things to me. I have recently feel and burden for my home church, which after a split has been left struggling with only students to serve.

I have also been reading a lot in Matthew, especially Jesus' sermon on the mont. Jesus' sermon on the mont. has really been changing me to reflect on the intentions of my actions and my inner thought.

Today, I have read Matthew 8:28-34, when Jesus released the demons in two men.

In this passage, I saw the true extent of demons and sin. The demons which possessed the were so throughly evil and dwelled in evil. Both of the men lived in the tombs. Tombs our life time and especially Jesus' time were especially dirty, unclean, and offensive to the Jewish people. (verse 28).

But when Jesus came over, instantly, the demons became crying out for more time before their eternal lives of torture (verse 29). This verse reminds me that even demons and the devil are afraid of God. The demons also must ask for Jesus permission to enter the pig (verse 31). I have felt so many times when I have been overwhelmed by sin or pain that it feels that God could not help but God is always there and when God comes, sin will even tremble in fear.

The demons response to Jesus also helps to solidify that Jesus was in fact the Son of God. Throughout the Bible, people doubted the claim that Jesus is the Son of God even though Jesus performed so many miracles (John 10). But, when I see these demons, they acknowledge that Jesus was the Son of God whole heartily. If the evil tormenting us acknowledges God's power and his sacrifice, why can't we?

When the demons left the humans, instantly they went to the pigs. The nature of evil is that they never stop moving and will always try to cause trouble.

Lastly, verse 34 stood out the most for me. In stories before this, Jesus was healing a man with leprosy, a centurion's servant, Peter's mother in-law, and stilling a sea. In each story, when Jesus performed miracles, the number of followers grew, but when Jesus exorcized these Demons, the villagers told him to go away. My first response was "Wow! Why would they do that?". But, as I thought of it more I realized that the villagers were scared of losing their possessions for Jesus. The villagers were putting their temporary riches above Jesus. I also realized that their worries were caused by sin, because it was the demons that drove the pigs off the cliff. The things that we put before God is because sin places them there, but God has power over these demons and will take control over them if you ask.

This passage challenged me to trust in God more and gave me comfort that God has complete control over my sins if I ask for help.

Thanks for reading and I hope your spring break has been going well! See you soon!

Frank

Community

Hey guys. So hearing Kevin’s story about his conversation at the gas station really opened my eyes to the power of a biblical community. I’ve always considered it to be a blessing to be a part of this lifegroup, yet, I never stopped to think how we could be a blessing to others. According to HMCC, the overall purpose of lifegroup is to “experience the fullness of life in a Biblical community where the Gospel is radically lived out.”

Is his story not a testament to this statement? Praying for the lost, lifting up the weak, encouraging the hopeless. Spreading the good news.

We may have been unaware at the time, but God was using each of us, whether indirectly or directly, to reach out to Chris. As a lifegroup, people should see something different in us. Love. Joy. Community. Whatever it was that Chris saw in us that day, it must have been fueled by God’s grace.

Acts 2:42-47 is a great verse that describes the “Fellowship of Believers.”

v42: They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer.

v43: Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles.

v44: All the believers were together and had everything in common.

v45: Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need.

v46: Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts,

v47: praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those were being saved.

The last verse is the one that strikes me the most, as it really magnifies the purpose of “outreach” in terms of our lifegroup. As we saw in Kevin’s recent experience, and as we will hopefully see in our upcoming broomball outreach effort, the purpose of lifegroup is not just to enjoy the blessings and favors to ourselves, but to also reach out and share those same blessings with others. God will provide, and God will find ways to “add to the number daily those who [are] being saved.” However, it is through our actions and our way of life that this can occur. Real community exists, so long as we know where to focus our energy and foster it.

When we extend our love to others, people will take notice. By simply being a part of G-Series and “radically living out the Gospel” in a biblical community, we will be able to draw others to Christ.

After hearing what had happened with Kevin at Dunkin Donuts, I told the rest of my car on the ride back. None of us knew who this guy was. None of us knew his story. We didn’t even know all the facts yet, other than the fact that Kevin talked to a young man who seemed to be a bit depressed. Nevertheless, through God’s grace and the love of G-Series, we all lifted up a prayer for him. As each of us went around the car praying for him, all I could do was smile, for I knew God was working through us at that very moment.

v47: And the Lord added to their number daily those were being saved.

Yikessss!

I realized I forgot to post on my day! Yikes!

But better late then never!

Spring break has started and it's been about 2 days since the Chicago trip ended and most of the time I've been just resting a lot because of my back and my sickness. But I've been blessed by God's love for me. My back has gotten better and my sickness is going away. I've also been able to have some bonding time with some brothers and my roommate. A great thing that's been happening for me is that my desire to praise God has not died down one bit. Ever since our lg started learning about David, I've had a desire to be more like David... and one of those things was to have the heart for praise like him. I remember before spring break, I was so eager to get out of class and just get my guitar and praise God. These days, now that I have so much time, I'm able to not only have fun but keep praising God.

I would like to update more, but I am having writer's block at the moment... I will definitely be updating this a lot as I study the word more! So I'll be back...!

Praise God, He is good!

Adventures at DTW

Yesterday, I took a flight from DTW (Detroit Airport) to PHL (Philadelphia Airport). It was scheduled to leave Detroit at 10:18am and arrive in Philly at 12:06pm. Here's how my day went:

8:30am - Left my apartment. Checked the flight status online and it says it's on time. Things are looking good. Only got 5 hours of sleep, but still feeling excited to go back home.

9:05am - While on the way to DTW, I get a call from my mom. She says that my flight got delayed two hours. This was kind of a setback, but two hours isn't that bad.

9:45am - After arriving at DTW and going through security, I go to Burger King to eat breakfast. I ordered a sausage, egg, and cheese Croissan'Wich, possibly the best breakfast ever known to man. The steak, egg, and cheese bagel sandwich from McDonald's is up there too.

10:15am - After eating my delicious breakfast, I go to check the monitor to see my flight status. Next to my flight reads the word: CANCELED. Oh, joy.

10:25am - I go to the Delta Customer Service area. There is no one at the desk, but they do have this scanner thing that prints out new boarding passes. I scan my boarding pass, and out comes two pieces of paper. The first, a $6.00 food voucher. The second, a boarding pass for a flight at 12:30pm. Not bad.

10:30am - While walking to my new gate (going through the tunnel pictured above) I take a second look at the boarding pass. The seat says: STANDBY. Great. The flight I have a guaranteed seat for is at 5:30pm. Great.

12:00pm - After waiting at my new gate, watching a sermon and falling asleep while doing so, I get hungry and walk over to the nearby Fuddruckers. I love burgers from Fuddruckers and excitedly use my meal voucher to get a burger. Much to my dismay, burgers from airport Fuddruckers are of much lower quality than standard Fuddruckers burgers. By the way, the 12:30pm flight got delayed an hour.

12:30pm - I go up to the lady at the desk and ask her what my standby position is (with any empty seats on the flight, they let as many people on as they can depending on what order you are on the list). Unfortunately, I am 21st on the list and the likelihood of me getting a seat on the plane is very small. I discuss my options with the lady and the best alternative we come up with is taking a 2:15pm flight to New York (LaGuardia). She tells me to go to the new gate where they will print my new boarding pass, so I travel through the tunnel again.

12:40pm - I arrive at my new gate and talk to the man at the desk. I explain to him my situation and ask him to print out my boarding pass. Unfortunately, he tells me that I was not placed on the flight. I try to explain more about what is going on, and he eventually finds a flight to Philadelphia that I could take at 1:55pm. This would save me 20 minutes so I agree to take it and travel back through the tunnel yet again to go to my new gate.

1:30pm - After waiting at my new gate for a while, the lady at the gate informs us all that the flight has been delayed 30 minutes. I'm starting to get sick of these delays, but 30 minutes isn't much compared to all the delays I already went through.

2:30pm - I finally board the plane and get to my seat. I'm ready to finally leave and go home.

2:45pm - After sitting in the plane for 15 minutes playing Angry Birds, I hear the flight attendant lady give an announcement that we are apparently too heavy to take off. She asks for volunteers to get off the plane and offers some Delta credit in return. I think about volunteering but other people in the front of the plane volunteer so I just sit back waiting for the plane to leave.

3:00pm - We finally take off. PTL

4:00pm - After going to sleep for a little bit, I wake up as our plane is going through some turbulence. And then.. the turbulence keeps continuing. This is by far the most turbulence I've ever experience on a plane. It was so much that they weren't able to serve drinks the whole flight. I do suffer from mild motion sickness, so I start feeling a little nauseous as the turbulence doesn't stop. I think about reaching for the vomit bag, but I'm a tough guy and can push through for an hour.

5:00pm - We finally land in Philadelphia. My stomach was still feeling uneasy but at least I didn't throw up. We actually have to walk down these stairs outside and then walk up stairs to get inside to the airport. For some reason the plane couldn't connect with the gate thing? Kinda weird...

5:10pm - I go to the pickup area, but my parents say they're going to be late since they hit some traffic.

5:30pm - My parents come and we go out to eat some pho and cheesesteaks in Philly. We then go to the Korean grocery store before going home. Arrival time - 8:00pm.

Lessons learned from this experience:

• patience - I really need more of this. I think I'm a pretty patient guy, but this day showed how impatient I can really get.
• proactive - I need to be more proactive. I waited a while before I actually found out my position on the standby list and tried to get on a new flight. I might have been able to save some time if I was more proactive.
• plans - I need to surrender my plans to God. I planned on getting home by a certain time so that I could do things at home. But maybe God wanted me to spend 5-6 hours at the airport. I need to let go of my plans.
• productivity - I need to make the most of all the time I have. Even if I'm stuck at an airport, there's a lot I can do instead of just playing Angry Birds and falling asleep.

Gas Station

This is the account of what I experienced before we left Chicago for Ann Arbor:

It was around ten o'clock, and all of us were exhausted, yet refilled and refreshed by a taste of Chicago. We stopped by a gas station to two opposite things: fill up our gas tanks but relieve our bladders, done as a fresh start to a four hour trip back to Ann Arbor. It was just like any other trip. The gas station was dimly lit, kinda cold, and the three cars that started clean were now cluttered with snack wrappers and water bottles. Just the same old pattern that reoccurs each time a person travels. But it became different when we walked in and got some free Dunkin Donuts.

It was late, and Dunkin was closing, so the guy behind the counter decided to give out the rest of the donuts. I wasn't particularly excited cause I was nasty full from the Gino East's Deep Dish Pizza we had earlier, but the rest of the group was almost jumping up and down. So as they scurried about sharing the good news, I went about my own business, looking for the cheapest water I could get. I grabbed one and walked out of the store, in thought that the drivers might want some too, only to realize I had walked out of the store with an unpaid water in my hand. So as I quickly acknowledged each of the driver's responses, I shot back into the store, cracking up a little at my small mistake. That's when God decided to open my eyes and shock my spiritual being.

As I was walking in, I was expecting some sort of store manager to rush into my face and scold me for stealing. But instead, as I looked around, I saw a guy in a blue coat and black pants beckon me over while mouthing some words which were inaudible. I turned around thinking that he was beckoning someone else behind me, only to see nobody. So I turned back around to question his sense of direction by pointing at myself and curiously asking "me?" He nodded, so I walked over without any kind of hesitation for some reason. I was not scared, I was not worried, there was no second thought. I just simply walked over by God's Grace.

This is the conversation that ensued (or to the best of my memory):

Blue Coat: "Hey man, how do you do it?"

Me: "Sorry? Do what?"

Blue Coat: "What is that you guys do man? How can you be so happy? It's gotta be taichi man. Is that what you Chinese people do? Walk in like that all cool and stuff. I feel so much positive energy!" (HAHA that's literally what he said. i thought it was hilarious while i reflected upon it)

Me: "Oh..what's going on man? You doin' alright?"

Blue Coat: "Man, i've just been feeling a little down lately. There's been a lot of negative energy"

Me: "Oh, how come?"

Me: "By the way, what's your name?"

Blue Coat: "Chris"

Me: "My name's Kevin, nice to meet you, but yea, how come man? What's going on?"

Chris: "Man, this world is so dark. I try to be the nice guy, but it seems like the stuff that I did before I started to try to be nice is coming back to get me. People take advantage of me, and I'm having a hard time trying to keep at being the nice guy."

Me: "Oh man, yea i know exactly what you mean!"

Chris: "Bro yea, but how do you deal with that? how do you not got torn by all these things? Is it taichi? Those monks in China seriously. Every time I see them, they seem so calm, so able to conquer the world, but yet I sit here not knowing what to do. I want to be just like that. I want to be the calm man that makes this world go round. The nice guy."

Me: "(By God's Grace) Oh well, I believe in a God and I go to church."

Chris: "Actually, I do too, but that can't be it. It's gotta be taichi"

Me: "Have you tried praying?"

Chris: "No, it's gotta be Taichi, look at them monks!"

Me: "Oh yea, those monks are so peaceful no matter the circumstance, but man, let me humbly ask you this. Where do you place your confidence?"
Chris: "Well...it's definitely not my looks..uh..i'm not too sure"

Me: "Is it by how others treat you and how others perceive you?"

Chris: "Yea! that must be it"

Me: "Dude...man I walked through the same exact thing, and..."

Chris: "Poor guy"

Me: "sorry...?"

Chris: "Oh, as in poor guy you had to walk through that"

Me: "Oh..yea you too man. But let me tell you this. This is what we believe in."

Me: "We believe that God is all powerful and all perfect. So we worship him, and in worshipping him, we place our confidence within Him, so no matter the circumstance, we can always walk upright or call out to the perfect Creator for help through prayer, and we know He will always answer us. And by that, our confidence never wavers. So no matter what people perceive of us or does to us, we understand that God is there to help us and walk us through the storm. Prayer is our communication to God, and we do that a lot to keep us tuned with the perfection that He is. So I would say that you should try praying. It's almost like meditation, except you are speaking to someone that knows exactly what you need and exactly what you feel and He sorts your thoughts through and lifts you back up. "

Chris: "Oh! I'm actually a philosophy major, and so I've done meditation, but I've never imagined it as talking to someone. Man, I'll definitely try that"

Me: "Hey man, sorry I gotta go, but can I pray for you?"

Chris: "Yea, sure"

...Prayer time...with some of Chris's shaking here and there...Holy Spirit! WHOO!

Chris: "Thanks a lot man. I really appreciate this."

Me: "hey, so I was thinking if we could exchange numbers to keep each other in light of positive energy?"

Chris: "Oh, I actually dont' have a phone number right now, but when I do get access to one, I'll give you call. Could you write down your number for me?"

Me: "Sure. Here you go. Give me a call man! Keep it up! See ya"

Chris: "For sure! you too! later"

Then, we left. And on the car, a wonderful discussion God's glory followed.

Chicago was such a great blessing, and especially to have God end it on such a glorious note was just purely wonderful. Blessed by such an opportunity, G-series step three! GOOOOOO!!!

God has humbled me. I love Chicago. I love G-series. I love God. Let's spread the good news!

Should Worshiping God Be "Feel Good"?

So, I've been listening to a lot of different podcasts and I've been pondering a lot of questions. One I wanted to explore a little bit on today is what I like to call "feel good" ministry or worship. What I mean is that is it good or bad to view worship that makes you "feel good" about Him?

There are many different ways to worship and praise God. There are many different ways to view your relationship with God as well. But is there a right way or wrong way on how you view it? Joel Osteen, the pastor of the famous Lakewood Church has been criticized for a number of things, including that he preaches what people want to hear; on entertainment not on preaching God's whole word (http://www.forgottenword.org/osteen.html). Today, I watched Osteen's sermon "2011 Is Going To Be Your Year" in which Osteen preaches that we are to get ready for God's blessings.

Is it bad to have want and desire for God's blessings? Is it bad to expect them? Or to believe he will give them to you if you are faithful? However, as it is written: "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him" 1 Corinthians 2:9. This verse refers that God has a plan or blessings that he has made ready for us. Would this be bad to believe in? However, For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths. 2 Timothy 4:3–4. This refers to that there will be people who preach the word to the people, but are teaching false doctrine. How can we know what is true and what is false?

I don't know if there is a "true" and "false" way to worship God. Of course, I can think of extremes here, but they are all subjective it seems. How can we know? What should we do if we feel there is false teachings? What should we do if we feel what is taught is truth and someone accuses us of false teachings? These are hard questions to answer. Honestly, I don't feel that I'm qualified or anointed with the ability to judge. I would not want to be someone who wrongfully calls God's word as false, and then receive judgment from Him! What I do know is that we need to stay faithful in God, and he will take care of us.

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1

May God bless you in your faith and love.

Your Brother, Josh

First Blog

Hey g-series i'm really excited and thankful for this blog (even though this is a couple days late haha). I hope the guys that are at Chicago are having a lot of fun and the guys that are at the international retreat are experiencing God to the fullest. Yesterday i read Deuteronomy 8 and i felt a great connection to the old testament that I was not exactly able to make when i read prior passages on my own.

The entire passage was pretty much like a summary of Israelites but as i read it, it sounded more and more like a summary of my faith and walk with God. The first part of the chapter that stuck out to me was "Remember how the Lord your God led you all the way in the desert these forty years, to humble you and to test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands. He humbled you". For a long period of time when i was in high school I had a very legalistic mentality and i would check myself of all the wrong and right things i did. The wrong things greatly outweighed the right and i felt such a heaviness of sin; i constantly felt defeated, like it wasn't worth even trying because i just fell in this habit of rebelling against God and then feeling guilty about it. Nothing about that kind of lifestyle felt freeing or peaceful, God's yoke felt extremely burdensome for me. But looking back i never thought that God would use my disobedience and unfaithfulness to his laws to show me how much i needed him to take control of my life. By my own strength i can't keep his commandments and i was humbled greatly.

The next couple verses gave me some encouragement as verse three says "...to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord." I don't know if many of you can relate but for some reason many times when i do get something i really wanted i end up just feeling pretty down afterwards. I end up telling myself in my head "...ok great". That's how i felt after i got into college or got a date for proms in high school or even smaller things like when i got my first paycheck. Now, i'm not saying i don't enjoy earthly things because clearly i do, in fact i think for me i tend to enjoy the little things more. But what i'm saying is that there are a lot of things the world tells me that i should be very happy about that really doesn't end up measuring up and this verse is very encouraging because i know that these contradicting emotions for worldly things is normal when one experiences God.

"Know then in your heart that as a man disciplines his son, so the LORD your God disciplines you." Yesterday when i got picked up at the airport by my dad he took me out for lunch and dinner and he was sharing about the decisions he had to make as far as what college to go to, career decisions, whether or not he should move to America. And the one thing that just stayed in my head was that because his parents were so poor and that his college tuition was so expensive, no one ever told him good job because they were too preoccupied with their financial issues. Growing up i was so bitter at my parents because they never said good job to me and i always felt like i deserved some sort of praise; they were my parents, they should be making me feel good, not inadequate by comparing me to other kids. And when my dad shared that to me i felt so ashamed of myself, i felt like a spoiled little brat. Now that i look back at the way my parents raised me up, i have a different perspective at the way they disciplined me, knowing that they really did care about me and how my dad didn't want me to worry about being a financial burden the way he was to his parents. I know that this experience doesn't exactly relate to verse 5 but just experiencing my dad's love makes me realize that same aspect of God's love to me, except 100x greater.

Over the past couple weeks i've been feeling very lonely whenever i have been by myself. I think i've always been sort of in a way proud of myself because I can enjoy being by myself and that i am self-sufficient but i can't really explain why every time i'm not around people i have just been feeling very apathetic, kind of in a i don't give a crap mode. Throughout this entire year God has been revealing to myself my own insecurities and how much I am afraid of people's judgment. There's just a lot of times where i don't really like myself and to be honest i wouldn't want to be friends with myself. And i thought i gave that up to God this year, that i was able to find my security and identity in Christ but hearing Pastor Seth's Friday sermon i was reminded that things i give up on the alter to God will have to be given again and again. I am thankful that God has once again reminded me of my weakness, and that i must find strength in Him and my joy is made complete in Him.

Reflection of this past year

As I read Deuteronomy 8:6, I began connecting and reflecting struggles and praise-God moments this past year.

v.1 says "...so that you may live and increase and may enter and possess the land that your Lord promised on oath to your forefathers"
This verse gives me hope and great joy for the remaining 2 months of the semester. God has blessed up with growth as a life group, He has "increased" our group this year and I am so blessed, and I have high expectations for more salvations this semester. I believe the land that we are to possess is this campus, this university, and I believe that God will start a revival in Michigan.

v. 2-3 speaks about the struggles along the way as a test to my faith. This year has been so difficult and so rewarding in so many different ways. Yesterday I was talking to my mom on the phone and she was like, every time I talk to you, you are either struggling or praising God passionately. I believe that God has been testing me, to "know what was in my heart" so that He could refine me this year.

v. 5 says "Know then in your heart that as a man disciplines his son, so the Lord your God disciplines you"
I'm excited to be disciplined by God. I want to pray this promise of God, that one day God will discipline me so that even when I don't feel like doing something, that I will do it for His glory because I love him.

v. 11 says "Be careful that you do not forget the Lord your God..."
I really have to be careful. This past year I have often credited myself for the good things that happened to me, because I believed that I had some good in me. But as I have learned in His word, my righteous deeds are seen as filthy rags before Him. I pray that I will never forget that God is the one who enabled all things in my life.

v. 13-15 speaks all of the trials that God brought me out of, and the great blessings that He has placed into my life. Even though there were ups and downs this semester I pray that I will recognize that God has been faithful all along.

God has been really directing me lately, and I pray that I will follow without question. That I will obey, because when God asks me to go somewhere, to do something, NEVER do I want to say, "God, wait one sec. I gotta start preparing my heart starting now." I want to be preparing my heart daily, ready every moment to start the race and run hard to God. I don't want to miss opportunities to serve God, to be a part of His work, because how rewarding is it to be used by the King.

"Little Me"

I don't think I've shared this with anyone before, but whenever I think of myself, I see this little girl. Before I knew Christ, I was this little girl who always kept her head down. She felt hopeless and frustrated because she could not find meaning and purpose in her life. Her Father was calling her name, even before she came to be, but the little girl didn't hear his father's calling for a long time.

Even after she found herself to her Father, she is still not satisfied with her life. Look at that image.
I'm going to speak metaphorically now. Listen carefully. That girl is me. What is making her so sad?
She is sitting on bed of pretty flowers. Why would she be so sad? Those flowers are things her Father had blessed the little girl with. And yet, the girl does not see these countless blessings. You know how when you cry, your vision is blurred? That's why the girl cannot see these blessings clearly. Because the girl wants a lot of things in her life, but solely for selfish reasons. Her Father brings flowers to bless her and make her happy. But because the girl does not get that ONE thing that she wants so much, she can't see these so many other blessings around her that her Father had showered her with.

Like I've shared during my life group this past Tuesday, I was struggling this week with sinful thoughts and desires. God kept telling me to surrender it up to him because what I wanted was not his will for me. I went through a wide range of emotions--frustration, bitterness, anger, sadness--thinking that I deserve these things I wanted because I did this, this, and this. Because I was so consumed with my own desires, I was completely oblivious to so many other things God had blessed me with, especially his specific calling for me in my life. King David's humble prayer cleared my vision to see these blessings around me:

"Who am I, O Sovereign Lord, and what is my family, that you have brought me this far? And as if this were not enough in your sight, O Sovereign Lord, you have also spoken about the future of the house of your servant. Is this your usual way of dealing with man, O Sovereign Lord?" -2 Samuel 7:18-19

I've never heard such  humble and desperate prayer such as this. Instead of me demanding these things from God, I should be like, "who do I think I am to ask for these things?" He had done ENOUGH for me. He loves me soooo much. He loves you soooo much. We have no idea because his love is immeasurable. Praise God, because I surrendered my desire up to God and I've gained this overwhelming sense of freedom. Recently, so many people have asked me for prayer. I feel so embarrassed and unworthy because I don't ever consider myself as a prayer warrior or remotely reliable for prayer. But I've been so convicted to pray, pray, and pray. It's a huge blessing for me--to be the intercessor for the people around me. And I've realized that this is what God is calling me to do.

God knows me SO WELL. So I'm going to obey his will and fulfill his calling for me joyfully :)
Truly, his thoughts and ways are so much higher than mine (Isaiah 55:8-9). And I will be joyful always, and pray continually in all circumstances (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18). Not only am I going to pray, but I will also ask God to make me a faithful servant with the right heart to serve, I don't have to be acknowledged or praised for what I do for my reward is in heaven and that is enough for me. I cannot thank God enough!
God is good. So good. :)

-Angela

do you see what i see?

eventful day. 
field trip with my students to dwntwn detroit for a "know your black history" scholarship competition where students shared dance/poetry/essays about the hope of detroit lying in the hands of the city's youth who can "make a difference."  after school, with some time to kill before my next appointment, drove aimlessly up, down, and around the very unpopulated streets of detroit. made a pit stop at a newly opened cafe on woodward ave by the DIA and sparked a friendly conversation with the owner about how business was going... bc afterall, this is detroit. 


i'm so thankful for these opportunities to see detroit. but i cant help but wonder if i'm seeing what God is seeing. 


eph 1:18
"i pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power of us who believe."


im making this a prayer for myself... that God would open the eyes of my heart. to see the hope and joy of potential transformation wherever i go and in whatever i'm invested in.  lately, i've been struggling to understand God's specific purpose in my current job and fears of my uncertain future begin to creep in. in the midst of it, im trying to learn to trust in Him daily. that even if i have no idea what is coming ahead 1, 2, 3 years from now... im realizing that God wants me to experience the joy of living day to day, simply following His lead as a child trusts her Father. no questions asked. just follow. and know that His future for me is hopeful and purposeful,even if i can't always see the immediate fruit or results.  know that living in His will will richly satisfy me because as i delight in the Lord, He will give me the desires of my heart. and to know that in whatever God calls me to do, it is by His great power that i am enabled to do all things - a power "far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given..." 


can i see the hope and life that God can give to such a city???

Living in the Spiritual Blessings We Have in Christ

Hey everybody,

I'm not much of a blogger, but let's give this a shot. I'm just gonna write down some notes verse by verse and then end with some thoughts.

Ephesians 1:1-23

• v. 1: I'm liking that phrase "by the will of God". Paul was only an apostle of Christ because God willed it to be that way.
• v. 3: he starts out by first blessing God. Paul really shows how important it is to praise Him and recognize that everything is from Him. He is the one we receive spiritual blessings from.
• v. 4-5: God's plan for us is to be holy and blameless. This is crazy when we think about our sinful nature, but Paul shows that God will make us perfect in Christ. He planned for this before we became Christ followers, or were even born. God really is sovereign over everything.
• v. 6-10: God really poured out His grace on us and made it known to us. We didn't find it, but God poured it on us and unites us together under Christ.
• v. 11: everything works out for the purposes of His will. Nothing can mess it up.
• v. 12: we, as believers, exist for the praise of HIS glory.
• v. 13-14: we are marked with the Holy Spirit, who is the guarantee of our inheritance.
• v. 17: he writes about asking for the Spirit of wisdom and revelation so that we could know Him better. I really need this in my life.
• v. 18-21: I am just amazed at God's power which He gives to us who believe. A power that is above everything else in this world. Crazy.
• v. 22-23: God raised up Christ to be head over the Church, which is His body, His fullness. We have unity with Christ through the Church.

This passage challenges me to be more bold in my prayers and have greater faith. I have to realize the depths of His grace and know how much I needed Him to save and transform me. I need to seek the blessings of the Holy Spirit and know the power that I have in Him. Instead of feeling defeated, I should be victorious and confident knowing that there is no match for our God and everything will work out according to His will. Also, in praying for our church, I need to pray for unity with Christ that through Him we may all experience together the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives.

-Joe