Reflection

Thanks to my lcg angela, i forgot that today was my date to write the blog post! Sorry everyone for such a late post. I came back today around four from Florida.
This weekend was very interesting for me...I experienced the world that I never seen....I guess the world of 1% of upperclass of America, the society that controls this country.
Thanks to my scholarship donor, I was invited to visit Miami for scholarship convention, it was an event to connect all the Stamps scholars around the country. About 50 students from almost 10 different schools met in Miami, to build up the network and the community.
And. it was very interesting. Of course, because it is not religious afficilated, the convention was secular, centered around the success of the individual rather than the glory of the higher being.
Being in the "Christian bubble" where we have church meeting at least four times per week, I felt little weird entering to this convention. Absence of God. It was the experience that probably people had when they first experienced the Reneassance and exposed to explore themselves away from the idea of God.
Of course, God was here entirely with me through out the convention. Despite of "non God-centered" convention, he spoke to me or raised awareness on what's going on.
This convention was sort of a culture shock to me. Yes, being in church so many time, spend, eat, talk in church community environment, I forgot this world is so distant from us and their values were so different from us.
The world was truly all about the glory. the fame. the money. the connection. I mean the whole point of this convention was to "build up the connection". Mr. Stamps, the general donor of our scholarship flat out said, "I invited you guys to this convention so you guys can meet other scholarship recipients all around the country. In the society we live in, the key to sucess is connection. There's no surprise why last five presidents all came from same university."
The world strives to find the formula for sucess, for the riches they may gain. Especially when we visited the mansion where our donor couple lives in, it was the world whispering to me soothingly... "this is the ultimate definition of sucess, the money to reach all this, the power to gain all this, the life style that all admires." That moment I felt like Satan was speaking to me... "Can you truly give up everything to become missionary? You are loosing all of these, you are rejecting the chance to enter to this world.. the world everyone admires...." People around me was chanting as the snake spoke to me how they want to live this life style, how their life would be fullfilled if this is their life....and yes I also was gazed and admired. But Thanks to the spirit of discernment and wisdom, I was able to see what's beyond what I can see with my eyes.
This is the worldly standard. The world's desire, the world without Christ. The empty glory... and I cried out to God at that moment. "Father God, hold on to me, let my eyes be on you only, not on anything around me. Father, there's a reason, that I am listening to this all the speech about how to be successful with life, seeing th world of upper 1% of this country for the reason. Father God, give me the heart of the purity, wisdom to know all I need is you. All i need to seek is you and your approval." What the world gives is empty without you. Let me seek you and seek your nation and glory, not what the world can offer. Father God, let me have a strong heart to decline what the world seduces me of but focus on your vocation in my life..."
This was so overwhelming for me. I was excited to meet people, see the world I never seen, but at the same time afraid. Afraid that this will become a struggle. Seeing all this, experiencing all this, I wasnt sure, if my heart can be as pure. But at the same time, after praying and have that peace that I will choose to follow Christ no matter what, even that means i can not gain what the world offers me, I was able to check that there's Holy Spirit living in me.

Job 23:10 But he knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold.

This verse led me into prayer...

I am excited to see what God has provided for my life. How he will use me as a brush to paint the beautiful artwork to show his glory to the world.

I thank God for everything.

-Sunghyun Hong