Gas Station

This is the account of what I experienced before we left Chicago for Ann Arbor:

It was around ten o'clock, and all of us were exhausted, yet refilled and refreshed by a taste of Chicago. We stopped by a gas station to two opposite things: fill up our gas tanks but relieve our bladders, done as a fresh start to a four hour trip back to Ann Arbor. It was just like any other trip. The gas station was dimly lit, kinda cold, and the three cars that started clean were now cluttered with snack wrappers and water bottles. Just the same old pattern that reoccurs each time a person travels. But it became different when we walked in and got some free Dunkin Donuts.

It was late, and Dunkin was closing, so the guy behind the counter decided to give out the rest of the donuts. I wasn't particularly excited cause I was nasty full from the Gino East's Deep Dish Pizza we had earlier, but the rest of the group was almost jumping up and down. So as they scurried about sharing the good news, I went about my own business, looking for the cheapest water I could get. I grabbed one and walked out of the store, in thought that the drivers might want some too, only to realize I had walked out of the store with an unpaid water in my hand. So as I quickly acknowledged each of the driver's responses, I shot back into the store, cracking up a little at my small mistake. That's when God decided to open my eyes and shock my spiritual being.

As I was walking in, I was expecting some sort of store manager to rush into my face and scold me for stealing. But instead, as I looked around, I saw a guy in a blue coat and black pants beckon me over while mouthing some words which were inaudible. I turned around thinking that he was beckoning someone else behind me, only to see nobody. So I turned back around to question his sense of direction by pointing at myself and curiously asking "me?" He nodded, so I walked over without any kind of hesitation for some reason. I was not scared, I was not worried, there was no second thought. I just simply walked over by God's Grace.

This is the conversation that ensued (or to the best of my memory):

Blue Coat: "Hey man, how do you do it?"

Me: "Sorry? Do what?"

Blue Coat: "What is that you guys do man? How can you be so happy? It's gotta be taichi man. Is that what you Chinese people do? Walk in like that all cool and stuff. I feel so much positive energy!" (HAHA that's literally what he said. i thought it was hilarious while i reflected upon it)

Me: "Oh..what's going on man? You doin' alright?"

Blue Coat: "Man, i've just been feeling a little down lately. There's been a lot of negative energy"

Me: "Oh, how come?"

Me: "By the way, what's your name?"

Blue Coat: "Chris"

Me: "My name's Kevin, nice to meet you, but yea, how come man? What's going on?"

Chris: "Man, this world is so dark. I try to be the nice guy, but it seems like the stuff that I did before I started to try to be nice is coming back to get me. People take advantage of me, and I'm having a hard time trying to keep at being the nice guy."

Me: "Oh man, yea i know exactly what you mean!"

Chris: "Bro yea, but how do you deal with that? how do you not got torn by all these things? Is it taichi? Those monks in China seriously. Every time I see them, they seem so calm, so able to conquer the world, but yet I sit here not knowing what to do. I want to be just like that. I want to be the calm man that makes this world go round. The nice guy."

Me: "(By God's Grace) Oh well, I believe in a God and I go to church."

Chris: "Actually, I do too, but that can't be it. It's gotta be taichi"

Me: "Have you tried praying?"

Chris: "No, it's gotta be Taichi, look at them monks!"

Me: "Oh yea, those monks are so peaceful no matter the circumstance, but man, let me humbly ask you this. Where do you place your confidence?"
Chris: "Well...it's definitely not my looks..uh..i'm not too sure"

Me: "Is it by how others treat you and how others perceive you?"

Chris: "Yea! that must be it"

Me: "Dude...man I walked through the same exact thing, and..."

Chris: "Poor guy"

Me: "sorry...?"

Chris: "Oh, as in poor guy you had to walk through that"

Me: "Oh..yea you too man. But let me tell you this. This is what we believe in."

Me: "We believe that God is all powerful and all perfect. So we worship him, and in worshipping him, we place our confidence within Him, so no matter the circumstance, we can always walk upright or call out to the perfect Creator for help through prayer, and we know He will always answer us. And by that, our confidence never wavers. So no matter what people perceive of us or does to us, we understand that God is there to help us and walk us through the storm. Prayer is our communication to God, and we do that a lot to keep us tuned with the perfection that He is. So I would say that you should try praying. It's almost like meditation, except you are speaking to someone that knows exactly what you need and exactly what you feel and He sorts your thoughts through and lifts you back up. "

Chris: "Oh! I'm actually a philosophy major, and so I've done meditation, but I've never imagined it as talking to someone. Man, I'll definitely try that"

Me: "Hey man, sorry I gotta go, but can I pray for you?"

Chris: "Yea, sure"

...Prayer time...with some of Chris's shaking here and there...Holy Spirit! WHOO!

Chris: "Thanks a lot man. I really appreciate this."

Me: "hey, so I was thinking if we could exchange numbers to keep each other in light of positive energy?"

Chris: "Oh, I actually dont' have a phone number right now, but when I do get access to one, I'll give you call. Could you write down your number for me?"

Me: "Sure. Here you go. Give me a call man! Keep it up! See ya"

Chris: "For sure! you too! later"

Then, we left. And on the car, a wonderful discussion God's glory followed.

Chicago was such a great blessing, and especially to have God end it on such a glorious note was just purely wonderful. Blessed by such an opportunity, G-series step three! GOOOOOO!!!

God has humbled me. I love Chicago. I love G-series. I love God. Let's spread the good news!

Should Worshiping God Be "Feel Good"?

So, I've been listening to a lot of different podcasts and I've been pondering a lot of questions. One I wanted to explore a little bit on today is what I like to call "feel good" ministry or worship. What I mean is that is it good or bad to view worship that makes you "feel good" about Him?

There are many different ways to worship and praise God. There are many different ways to view your relationship with God as well. But is there a right way or wrong way on how you view it? Joel Osteen, the pastor of the famous Lakewood Church has been criticized for a number of things, including that he preaches what people want to hear; on entertainment not on preaching God's whole word (http://www.forgottenword.org/osteen.html). Today, I watched Osteen's sermon "2011 Is Going To Be Your Year" in which Osteen preaches that we are to get ready for God's blessings.

Is it bad to have want and desire for God's blessings? Is it bad to expect them? Or to believe he will give them to you if you are faithful? However, as it is written: "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him" 1 Corinthians 2:9. This verse refers that God has a plan or blessings that he has made ready for us. Would this be bad to believe in? However, For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths. 2 Timothy 4:3–4. This refers to that there will be people who preach the word to the people, but are teaching false doctrine. How can we know what is true and what is false?

I don't know if there is a "true" and "false" way to worship God. Of course, I can think of extremes here, but they are all subjective it seems. How can we know? What should we do if we feel there is false teachings? What should we do if we feel what is taught is truth and someone accuses us of false teachings? These are hard questions to answer. Honestly, I don't feel that I'm qualified or anointed with the ability to judge. I would not want to be someone who wrongfully calls God's word as false, and then receive judgment from Him! What I do know is that we need to stay faithful in God, and he will take care of us.

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1

May God bless you in your faith and love.

Your Brother, Josh

First Blog

Hey g-series i'm really excited and thankful for this blog (even though this is a couple days late haha). I hope the guys that are at Chicago are having a lot of fun and the guys that are at the international retreat are experiencing God to the fullest. Yesterday i read Deuteronomy 8 and i felt a great connection to the old testament that I was not exactly able to make when i read prior passages on my own.

The entire passage was pretty much like a summary of Israelites but as i read it, it sounded more and more like a summary of my faith and walk with God. The first part of the chapter that stuck out to me was "Remember how the Lord your God led you all the way in the desert these forty years, to humble you and to test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands. He humbled you". For a long period of time when i was in high school I had a very legalistic mentality and i would check myself of all the wrong and right things i did. The wrong things greatly outweighed the right and i felt such a heaviness of sin; i constantly felt defeated, like it wasn't worth even trying because i just fell in this habit of rebelling against God and then feeling guilty about it. Nothing about that kind of lifestyle felt freeing or peaceful, God's yoke felt extremely burdensome for me. But looking back i never thought that God would use my disobedience and unfaithfulness to his laws to show me how much i needed him to take control of my life. By my own strength i can't keep his commandments and i was humbled greatly.

The next couple verses gave me some encouragement as verse three says "...to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord." I don't know if many of you can relate but for some reason many times when i do get something i really wanted i end up just feeling pretty down afterwards. I end up telling myself in my head "...ok great". That's how i felt after i got into college or got a date for proms in high school or even smaller things like when i got my first paycheck. Now, i'm not saying i don't enjoy earthly things because clearly i do, in fact i think for me i tend to enjoy the little things more. But what i'm saying is that there are a lot of things the world tells me that i should be very happy about that really doesn't end up measuring up and this verse is very encouraging because i know that these contradicting emotions for worldly things is normal when one experiences God.

"Know then in your heart that as a man disciplines his son, so the LORD your God disciplines you." Yesterday when i got picked up at the airport by my dad he took me out for lunch and dinner and he was sharing about the decisions he had to make as far as what college to go to, career decisions, whether or not he should move to America. And the one thing that just stayed in my head was that because his parents were so poor and that his college tuition was so expensive, no one ever told him good job because they were too preoccupied with their financial issues. Growing up i was so bitter at my parents because they never said good job to me and i always felt like i deserved some sort of praise; they were my parents, they should be making me feel good, not inadequate by comparing me to other kids. And when my dad shared that to me i felt so ashamed of myself, i felt like a spoiled little brat. Now that i look back at the way my parents raised me up, i have a different perspective at the way they disciplined me, knowing that they really did care about me and how my dad didn't want me to worry about being a financial burden the way he was to his parents. I know that this experience doesn't exactly relate to verse 5 but just experiencing my dad's love makes me realize that same aspect of God's love to me, except 100x greater.

Over the past couple weeks i've been feeling very lonely whenever i have been by myself. I think i've always been sort of in a way proud of myself because I can enjoy being by myself and that i am self-sufficient but i can't really explain why every time i'm not around people i have just been feeling very apathetic, kind of in a i don't give a crap mode. Throughout this entire year God has been revealing to myself my own insecurities and how much I am afraid of people's judgment. There's just a lot of times where i don't really like myself and to be honest i wouldn't want to be friends with myself. And i thought i gave that up to God this year, that i was able to find my security and identity in Christ but hearing Pastor Seth's Friday sermon i was reminded that things i give up on the alter to God will have to be given again and again. I am thankful that God has once again reminded me of my weakness, and that i must find strength in Him and my joy is made complete in Him.

Reflection of this past year

As I read Deuteronomy 8:6, I began connecting and reflecting struggles and praise-God moments this past year.

v.1 says "...so that you may live and increase and may enter and possess the land that your Lord promised on oath to your forefathers"
This verse gives me hope and great joy for the remaining 2 months of the semester. God has blessed up with growth as a life group, He has "increased" our group this year and I am so blessed, and I have high expectations for more salvations this semester. I believe the land that we are to possess is this campus, this university, and I believe that God will start a revival in Michigan.

v. 2-3 speaks about the struggles along the way as a test to my faith. This year has been so difficult and so rewarding in so many different ways. Yesterday I was talking to my mom on the phone and she was like, every time I talk to you, you are either struggling or praising God passionately. I believe that God has been testing me, to "know what was in my heart" so that He could refine me this year.

v. 5 says "Know then in your heart that as a man disciplines his son, so the Lord your God disciplines you"
I'm excited to be disciplined by God. I want to pray this promise of God, that one day God will discipline me so that even when I don't feel like doing something, that I will do it for His glory because I love him.

v. 11 says "Be careful that you do not forget the Lord your God..."
I really have to be careful. This past year I have often credited myself for the good things that happened to me, because I believed that I had some good in me. But as I have learned in His word, my righteous deeds are seen as filthy rags before Him. I pray that I will never forget that God is the one who enabled all things in my life.

v. 13-15 speaks all of the trials that God brought me out of, and the great blessings that He has placed into my life. Even though there were ups and downs this semester I pray that I will recognize that God has been faithful all along.

God has been really directing me lately, and I pray that I will follow without question. That I will obey, because when God asks me to go somewhere, to do something, NEVER do I want to say, "God, wait one sec. I gotta start preparing my heart starting now." I want to be preparing my heart daily, ready every moment to start the race and run hard to God. I don't want to miss opportunities to serve God, to be a part of His work, because how rewarding is it to be used by the King.

"Little Me"

I don't think I've shared this with anyone before, but whenever I think of myself, I see this little girl. Before I knew Christ, I was this little girl who always kept her head down. She felt hopeless and frustrated because she could not find meaning and purpose in her life. Her Father was calling her name, even before she came to be, but the little girl didn't hear his father's calling for a long time.

Even after she found herself to her Father, she is still not satisfied with her life. Look at that image.
I'm going to speak metaphorically now. Listen carefully. That girl is me. What is making her so sad?
She is sitting on bed of pretty flowers. Why would she be so sad? Those flowers are things her Father had blessed the little girl with. And yet, the girl does not see these countless blessings. You know how when you cry, your vision is blurred? That's why the girl cannot see these blessings clearly. Because the girl wants a lot of things in her life, but solely for selfish reasons. Her Father brings flowers to bless her and make her happy. But because the girl does not get that ONE thing that she wants so much, she can't see these so many other blessings around her that her Father had showered her with.

Like I've shared during my life group this past Tuesday, I was struggling this week with sinful thoughts and desires. God kept telling me to surrender it up to him because what I wanted was not his will for me. I went through a wide range of emotions--frustration, bitterness, anger, sadness--thinking that I deserve these things I wanted because I did this, this, and this. Because I was so consumed with my own desires, I was completely oblivious to so many other things God had blessed me with, especially his specific calling for me in my life. King David's humble prayer cleared my vision to see these blessings around me:

"Who am I, O Sovereign Lord, and what is my family, that you have brought me this far? And as if this were not enough in your sight, O Sovereign Lord, you have also spoken about the future of the house of your servant. Is this your usual way of dealing with man, O Sovereign Lord?" -2 Samuel 7:18-19

I've never heard such  humble and desperate prayer such as this. Instead of me demanding these things from God, I should be like, "who do I think I am to ask for these things?" He had done ENOUGH for me. He loves me soooo much. He loves you soooo much. We have no idea because his love is immeasurable. Praise God, because I surrendered my desire up to God and I've gained this overwhelming sense of freedom. Recently, so many people have asked me for prayer. I feel so embarrassed and unworthy because I don't ever consider myself as a prayer warrior or remotely reliable for prayer. But I've been so convicted to pray, pray, and pray. It's a huge blessing for me--to be the intercessor for the people around me. And I've realized that this is what God is calling me to do.

God knows me SO WELL. So I'm going to obey his will and fulfill his calling for me joyfully :)
Truly, his thoughts and ways are so much higher than mine (Isaiah 55:8-9). And I will be joyful always, and pray continually in all circumstances (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18). Not only am I going to pray, but I will also ask God to make me a faithful servant with the right heart to serve, I don't have to be acknowledged or praised for what I do for my reward is in heaven and that is enough for me. I cannot thank God enough!
God is good. So good. :)

-Angela

do you see what i see?

eventful day. 
field trip with my students to dwntwn detroit for a "know your black history" scholarship competition where students shared dance/poetry/essays about the hope of detroit lying in the hands of the city's youth who can "make a difference."  after school, with some time to kill before my next appointment, drove aimlessly up, down, and around the very unpopulated streets of detroit. made a pit stop at a newly opened cafe on woodward ave by the DIA and sparked a friendly conversation with the owner about how business was going... bc afterall, this is detroit. 


i'm so thankful for these opportunities to see detroit. but i cant help but wonder if i'm seeing what God is seeing. 


eph 1:18
"i pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power of us who believe."


im making this a prayer for myself... that God would open the eyes of my heart. to see the hope and joy of potential transformation wherever i go and in whatever i'm invested in.  lately, i've been struggling to understand God's specific purpose in my current job and fears of my uncertain future begin to creep in. in the midst of it, im trying to learn to trust in Him daily. that even if i have no idea what is coming ahead 1, 2, 3 years from now... im realizing that God wants me to experience the joy of living day to day, simply following His lead as a child trusts her Father. no questions asked. just follow. and know that His future for me is hopeful and purposeful,even if i can't always see the immediate fruit or results.  know that living in His will will richly satisfy me because as i delight in the Lord, He will give me the desires of my heart. and to know that in whatever God calls me to do, it is by His great power that i am enabled to do all things - a power "far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given..." 


can i see the hope and life that God can give to such a city???

Living in the Spiritual Blessings We Have in Christ

Hey everybody,

I'm not much of a blogger, but let's give this a shot. I'm just gonna write down some notes verse by verse and then end with some thoughts.

Ephesians 1:1-23

• v. 1: I'm liking that phrase "by the will of God". Paul was only an apostle of Christ because God willed it to be that way.
• v. 3: he starts out by first blessing God. Paul really shows how important it is to praise Him and recognize that everything is from Him. He is the one we receive spiritual blessings from.
• v. 4-5: God's plan for us is to be holy and blameless. This is crazy when we think about our sinful nature, but Paul shows that God will make us perfect in Christ. He planned for this before we became Christ followers, or were even born. God really is sovereign over everything.
• v. 6-10: God really poured out His grace on us and made it known to us. We didn't find it, but God poured it on us and unites us together under Christ.
• v. 11: everything works out for the purposes of His will. Nothing can mess it up.
• v. 12: we, as believers, exist for the praise of HIS glory.
• v. 13-14: we are marked with the Holy Spirit, who is the guarantee of our inheritance.
• v. 17: he writes about asking for the Spirit of wisdom and revelation so that we could know Him better. I really need this in my life.
• v. 18-21: I am just amazed at God's power which He gives to us who believe. A power that is above everything else in this world. Crazy.
• v. 22-23: God raised up Christ to be head over the Church, which is His body, His fullness. We have unity with Christ through the Church.

This passage challenges me to be more bold in my prayers and have greater faith. I have to realize the depths of His grace and know how much I needed Him to save and transform me. I need to seek the blessings of the Holy Spirit and know the power that I have in Him. Instead of feeling defeated, I should be victorious and confident knowing that there is no match for our God and everything will work out according to His will. Also, in praying for our church, I need to pray for unity with Christ that through Him we may all experience together the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives.

-Joe